I'll cross-post fic here and stuff I guess. I just thought you might like to know, I s'pose. If I get really cross I might restrict myself to the main comms, but who knows?
Anyway. errantcomment is me.
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I think I might watch Atonement.
Because I really really want to see Benedict Cumberbatch play a baddie. It will completely fuck with my head because I'm mentally three and think characters are people or whatever but IDEC. I like being headfucked. In a non-sexual way.
I'm just like 'Can you imagine?'
So there's that.
The other thing is I watched Doctor Who with people last night. Knowing what happens when they don't is kind of amazing
Them: "Is that Melz gonna hang around? =/"
Me: "Yes, pretty much."
T: "Oh, so I suppose she's to distract from the Melody thing,"
M: "Yeah, I reckon."
T: "She seems a bit like River though. =/"
M: "...A little, yeah."
And then I realised. This is what Moffat must feel like all the time.
No wonder he always looks so pleased with himself.
So today my folks basically sat me down and told me that my plan to go to Vegas in February was financial suicide. I told them it was something I really wanted to do. Now I'm cross because they're right. SO CROSS. Like SO CROSS. I mean. Augh. I really really wanted to go to Vegas, it's been something I've always wanted to do and just oh my god it would have been like, my year, made. But the more I look at the costs, the more I realise I just can't afford it. And I'm SO CROSS. I mean, I can save up and do it later but I just feel completely let down. And I feel awful because the person I'm bunking with will be bummed, and all the Americans I was going to annoy are going to be bummed and just I am the worst person in the entire world. I hate it I hate it. But failing a massive injection of cash it's just not going to happen. And I'm SO CROSS.
Maybe it'll fix itself. Something will happen that will reassure me. But I've been looking at the numbers till I'm cross-eyed, and they still won't quite add up. I'm mad at my parents for pointing it out, which is unfair on them, but did they really have to ruin my little bubble of self-delusion. Of course the answer is yes, the sooner I let down everyone the sooner I can try and make it up to them.
tl;dr- I suck and have let everyone down. Sorry.
ETA: Mum and Dad have offered to pay my flight if I go via China. And things.